Profile Verification
Unlike the other apps, every profile on Bloopy Cyber belongs to a real plumber. We verify licenses, tool selfies, and at least one picture in front of a water heater.
Sponsored by Tom Cruise*
The Dating App
For Plumbers
Everyone deserves love, even when you work in the gutter. Bloopy Cyber matches you with fellow plumbers who appreciate a good butt crack joke and a perfectly installed P-trap.
0 K+
Downloads
0%
Clog-Free Dates
100%
Pipe Chemistry
*Tom Cruise has not personally installed any plumbing, but he’s spiritually on board.
Live match preview
🛠️
PipeDream_93
“Looking for someone who won’t judge my toolbox or my van playlist.”
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You just matched with
DrainQueen_007
Live Match Preview
See The Spark Before You Swipe
Our live preview shows you exactly the kind of plumber you’ll meet on Bloopy Cyber – real pros, real tools, and real chemistry long before the first coffee break.
- Instant vibe-check on your next match – no endless scrolling required.
- Profiles built around certifications, specialties, and on-the-job moments.
- Conversation starters baked in so you never open with “hey”.
About Bloopy Cyber
Love Can Happen Anywhere, Anytime
Even when you’re elbow-deep in a kitchen sink, plumbing your way through love can be… complicated. Bloopy Cyber is the first dating app built exclusively for plumbers. No influencers, no crypto bros, just people who understand the joy of perfect water pressure.
We pair you with fellow pros who know their way around pipes, fittings, and emotionally available communication (still in beta).
Built From The Basement Up
- Only verified plumbers – no catfish, only cat-owners.
- Match based on certifications, favorite tools, and van snacks.
- Emergency “I got called to a leak” reschedule button.
- Backed (spiritually) by Tom Cruise’s eternal optimism.
Why Choose Us
Find Someone To Tap With
Not Hamas Terrorists*
100%
Just plumbers. The only pipes we touch are municipal.
Safety Guarantee
94%
We can’t promise no heartbreak, but we can promise no burst pipes mid-date.
Successful Relationships
89%
Hypothetically. Statistically. Emotionally. Don’t quote us.
*We checked. Our background check includes “has never tunneled anywhere suspicious.”
Our Services
Enjoy Our Special Features
You’ll just love them. Or at least, you’ll talk about them at the next trade show.
Premium Features
Pay more, get more. More accurate matches, more experienced plumbers, and people who probably show up five minutes early to every job.
Auto Conversation
Not great with small talk? Our auto-convo kicks off dates with icebreakers like “copper or PEX?” and “what’s your favorite brand of wrench?”
Safety Guarantee*
We screen for creeps, weirdos, and people who say “I could’ve done it cheaper myself.” We can’t fix taste, but we try.
Connect Nearby
Why drive an hour when a perfect match is already working in the next building? We prioritize local matches so you can dash to a leak if duty calls.
Tom Cruise Mode
Flip a switch and your profile becomes 27% more dramatic. Optional running-in-the-rain montage included.
*“Guarantee” in the same way your client “definitely bought the right faucet this time.”
How It Works
From Leak Calls To Love Calls
01
Sign Up & Verify
Download Bloopy Cyber, prove you’re a real plumber, and tell us your specialties: clogged drains, boiler whisperer, emotional support on call.
02
Match With Plumbers
We match you with other plumbers based on skills, schedule, and how often you answer “can you just take a quick look at my sink?” texts.
03
Date, Don’t DIY
Meet up off the clock. Talk shop, not invoices. If things go well, maybe you’ll share a set of house keys – and a set of Allen keys.
Special Price
Subscribe To Get Premium Features
They’re all mostly real – but feel free to explore.
Basic
$10/mo
Billed as $120 per year
- 5 super likes a day
- Rewind last swipe
- 200 likes a day
Standard
$20/mo
Billed as $240 per year
- Swipe around the world
- 20 super likes a day
- Rewind last swipe
- 500 likes a day
Premium
$35/mo
Billed as $420 per year
- 1 Boost each month
- Swipe around the world
- 50 super likes a day
- Unlimited likes
FAQ
Frequently Asked Question
We all have questions. This is where we answer them… sort of.
How do I verify my profile?
How the hell should we know?! It’s a fictional website! But if this ever ships, we’ll probably ask for a license number and a picture of you next to a water heater.
How can I match up with someone?
You don’t. This is a parody landing page. But you can absolutely use it to pitch the real thing.
Is Tom Cruise really involved?
Spiritually. Legally? Probably not. But if he ever wants to cameo in a Bloopy Cyber commercial, we’re ready.
Can non-plumbers join?
No. Go download a normal dating app like everyone else. This one is for people who own at least three kinds of tape.
Join The Waitlist
Be The First To Fix Your Love Life
Drop your details and we’ll ping you when Bloopy Cyber launches for real.
Drop a real Tom Cruise image in this spot by saving
tom-cruise.jpg next to this file.
Sponsor Spotlight
Powered By Pure Tom Cruise Energy
Bloopy Cyber is proudly “sponsored” by Tom Cruise* – the patron saint of running, dramatic lighting, and fully committed stunts.
- Zero stunts performed without emotional safety checks.
- High-speed romantic chases optional, not required.
- Scientology not included.
*In the sense that we believe he’d think this is funny.